Nosferatu (2024)

Since Robert Eggers latest movie “Nosferatu” was released in the UK January 1st 2025, for me it is the first movie of this year. To many of my readers though it will have been the last movie of 2024 since it arrived Christmas day for the US and a few other territories. Sadly that means my review is behind everyone else. It also means it missed out on my “Best of 2024” list. But in my view it’s viable for 2025 with that release date. We’ll see where I place it next December. Anyway, this is written and directed by Robert Eggers. Jarin Blaschke provides cinematography and Robin Carolan the music. This is of course a remake of the 1922 silent movie, which was effectively an unofficial adaptation of Bram Stokers Dracula.

Bill Skarsgård stars as “Count Orlok”, the titular Nosferatu. This monster has established a psychic bond with Lily-Rose Depp’s “Ellen Hutter” and concocted a scheme to bring his reign of terror to Germany so that he can “Be one” with her. This also involves getting rid of her new husband “Thomas Hutter” (Nicholas Hoult). Fortunately for him Hutter is a solicitor and estate agent and so he can kill two birds with one stone by inviting Hutter to his castle to sign the deed to his new estate in Germany. Anna meanwhile continues to be haunted by dreams of this dark figure she likens to death itself. As the menace draws near her doctor seeks the assistance of Professor Albin Ebernhart Von Franz (Willem DaFoe) a controversial expert in the occult.

Gothic Horror is Back

This is a visually and sonically stunning movie. Not a huge surprise from Eggers, but he really has outdone himself with this one. Almost every scene has beautiful cinematography. Eggers makes great use of framing in his shots that really gives everything the look of a painting. He’s also clearly spent a lot of time watching old universal horror films and of course the original Nosferatu. The technique of using what you don’t see to build terror is at near perfection here. But as great as the visuals are, the movie is perhaps more impressive sonically. The use of the intense soundtrack, the frightening way Count Orlok speaks and strategic silence really helps to build the ominous tension and really make you feel in the presence of absolute evil.

It’s not all positive though. Eggers skills possibly don’t stretch to getting child actors to not really feel like children trying to act. The two children in this story were distractingly bad. Fortunately their roles were minor and effectively limited to two scenes (Well two where they had dialogue anyway). The second, larger problem is the plot. It’s not that it is a bad story, far from it. Since it is effectively Dracula it is arguably the most successful horror story ever written. But that is the problem right there. If you haven’t lived under rock your entire life you’ve definitely seen this story (Or something similar) before. Horror fan and/or a movie buffs have probably seen it at least ten times, maybe as many as fifty times. That is a problem.

Dreams And Nightmares

Despite the fact I’ve seen this story many times, the way Eggers approaches it is still unique. The heavy focus on dreams and the way they mesh with reality has always been one of his trademarks. Here he uses it in perhaps his best way yet. Having an evil that can be more of a presence through dreams without having to run around everywhere fits Gothic Horror perfectly. The genre has always been more about implying evil than showing it plainly. The idea is to give the viewer a sense of dread and Nosferatu has that in spades.

Where I wonder if Eggers does perhaps have a weakness, is in directing actors. This is a hard one to judge. The child actors were grating, but a few of the others felt a bit dodgy too. Notably, Aaron Taylor-Johnson felt a bit… off. Lily-Rose Depp though by contrast, was particularly good. Unsurprisingly Willem DaFoe, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård and Emma Corrin all did great. But actors of that caliber don’t need that much guidance from a director. It’s when you look outside those names that I start to wonder. That’s not to say anyone was outright terrible though. Even the children, they were just notable by contrast. Put a pin in this one for now.

Remakes Worth Remaking

While I’m not normally a big remake fan, this is one that was definitely needed. After all, I think 100 years is more than enough time to warrant a second go. But since the soundtrack was so important to this film, it is very much justified as an improvement over it’s silent predecessor. It also goes some way to make amends for the shoddy way the original was treated. That is would be a whole separate can of worms, so suffice to say the Bram Stoker estate wasn’t best pleased with the unofficial take on Dracula. Yet it wasn’t until Christopher Lee took on the role that anyone played a more menacing vampire than Max Shreck. This film returns Orlock to the head of the table as scariest vampire.

But speaking of remakes, I can’t help but wonder what “A Nightmare on Elm Street” would be like if made by Francis Eggers. I mean sur,e he’d probably set it in Victorian England or something, but I don’t know anyone that has made so much of an art out of dreams, hallucination and madness. If ever there was a director outside of Wes Craven that could actually do a good Nightmare on Elm Street movie, I think Eggers is the man for the job. He would need the right cast though. I’m not sure the director is as good with the actors as he is with everything else. But, he has always been lucky in finding the best talent to work with.

Conclusion

When it comes to horror it is often down to personal taste. This however, is a film every horror fan can appreciate at least on the audio/visual level. Where opinions may vary is on the story. Gothic romantic horror isn’t a wide field as far as story tropes go and when you are remaking a 102 year old movie based (unofficially) on a 107 year old novel no take will ever feel totally original. However, we all knew what this was going in. Also, you don’t really watch Eggers for the story. That’s not a criticism, it’s just he creates atmosphere like no other director. That is why we watch his movies. That and his incredible attention to accuracy and detail. This is his best so far and it’s worth noting, every movie he releases is his best so far. I can’t wait for his next. This one is in the clouds at 8.5/10.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10.

The 2024 Wrap Up – Part Two

Welcome to part two of my annual wrap up looking at 2024. In this half I will give you the second half of my top ten movies of the year and look at how things have played out in the box office. I’ll also be encouraging you to give a second look at four movies that you may have marked down as “Not worth bothering with”.

Top Ten (Part Two)

First up, a couple more honourable mentions. A movie that really surprised me in 2024 was “In The Land Of Saints And Sinners“. There’s no getting around it, Liam Neeson has been making a lot of truly terrible movies of late. This one however was great and Neeson was back on top form. Another impressive comeback was Kevin Costner’s passion project “Horizon: An American Saga“. A long complex tale that would have been better served as a TV series, but was still quality cinema. Costner often self funds his projects and usually loses money with them, but no one can deny his dedication and passion.

Before I get on to my top five movies I want to shout out two 2024 movies I won’t get to see until 2025. Namely: Sonic 3 and Nosferatu. The first two Sonic movies were far better than I think anyone expected and I have no reason to think they will drop the ball now. Meanwhile Francis Eggers new horror movie hits theatres in the US on Christmas day. In the UK we get it Jan 1st 2025. So while Sonic my miss out on the list for both years, I suspect I may be justifying Nosferatu’s inclusion on my 2025 list instead. We will see. Early reviews have been glowing.

#5 Boy Kills World

Review (From a roundup) HERE. This is my fun cult movie of the year. A mixture of excessively violent action and comedy, done with the freedom of an independent movie aiming to be a cult classic. This is a revenge film about a deaf, mute played by Bill Skarsgård but with H. Jon Benjamin (Archer, Bob’s Burgers) as the voice in his head. Sadly the movie was marketed so poorly a lot of people are probably hearing about it for the first time in this article. It made only $3m against its $20m budget. However, cult movies like this tend to make up for their box office in the long term through streaming and physical media sales. So there is hope for it yet. If you like action comedies check this one out! This just about made a 7/10.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

#4 Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F

Legacy sequels usually are a disappointment. Even when they are decent, they tend to fall far short of the original films. Every now and then though we get one just about up to scratch. Perhaps not as good as the classics, but one that does feel part of the same conversation. Axel F was one of these. A very pleasant surprise, especially after the very disappointing legacy sequel to “Coming to America”. Eddie Murphy was back on form. The rest of the gang was back on form and the movie carried a lot of the same vibes while also not ignoring the massive time gap. This was a very solid 7/10.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

#3 Late Night With The Devil

Review (From a roundup) HERE. While perhaps not as original as many may think, it was original enough to stand out in the sea of modern horrors. The 70’s TV style felt authentic and they had fun playing the plot out through that medium. The movie reminded me a lot of “WNUF Halloween Special”, but slicker (Hence not finding it totally original). David Dastmalchian, a highly underrated actor, did a fantastic job in the lead and young Ingrid Torelli impressed as the possessed child. While I wasn’t surprised the movie was good, I was that it ended up my top horror of the year. Well done Shudder! Strong 7/10 for this.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

#2 The Wild Robot

Review (From a roundup) HERE. This was a shocker that really shouldn’t have been. When you realize this is from Dreamworks and Chris Sanders, the minds behind the original “How to Train Your Dragon” you realize expectations should have been high. Yet this flew under a lot of peoples radars for some reason. Perhaps because Lupita Nyong’o isn’t that big a star (Despite her talent). Perhaps because Pedro Pascal seems to be in everything and due to that also has no draw. But the truth is both of them did a superb job. But it’s the animation, the story and perhaps above all the humour that makes this an absolute classic. 7.5/10

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

#1 Deadpool & Wolverine

Full review HERE. Speaking of humour, by far the funniest film of the year was Deadpool & Wolverine”. So despite the paper thin plot and obvious milking of nostalgia, this still ends up my movie of the year. The cast of heroes is excellent, including the surprise (And not so surprising) cameos. Aside from Emma Corrin, the villains were less impressive, but they did what they needed to. Right from the very start, the movie is outrageous, hilarious and action packed. It even manages to tell strong character stories, compensating largely for the weak plot. Those stories extend beyond the main two characters and makes each cameo feels worthwhile (Although one of them mostly for comedy…Don’t skip the post credit scene, that’s all I’m saying). This was an 8/10, even with the flaws.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Second Chance Saloon

These days negativity about entertainment spreads like wildfire. There’s no getting around it, the studios have a PR problem and a terrible relationship with their fans. Part of that is because they have been strangely antagonistic and part is just their uninspired output. Most new movies or TV shows are filled with all the same modern cliches. Any criticism of the product is reacted to with insults and labels. So it’s understandable people are increasingly walking away from new shows, movies, franchises or even entire genres. Of course that means on occasion they don’t give a chance to something perhaps they may enjoy. So in this section I am going to recommend a few movies for a second chance.

Let’s get to the easier sells first. I want to mention a couple of fun movies that while not bothering my top ten, were entertaining and didn’t contain anything that anyone should find offensive. “Red One” quickly flopped at the box office, showing that neither The Rock nor Chris Evans are box office gold. Yet, this was a fun, well meaning action Christmas movie. The second to mention is Gladiator 2. This is a direct sequel to the original and an entertaining movie that attempts to offer a subversion of the plot from the first. Sadly some reviewers have thrown out the usual complaints: Bad CGI, ‘Member berries, rehash of the first film. None of those are anywhere near as bad as presented. The plot especially is mostly similar because it is a gladiator movie. Not too much variety in the genre.

Not For Everyone

So now we get on to the divisive movies. First up is Joker: Folie à Deux, this is a movie that got a savage backlash mostly from people that hadn’t seen the movie, but had heard things they didn’t like about it. It’s a subversive movie and a gritty, depressing neo-noir. It’s not a bad movie objectively speaking. Indeed, it is very well made. What it isn’t much of though, is fun. If you go in expecting a comic book movie, you will hate it. Especially true if you think this is the “Real” Joker. But if you like gritty, depressing neo-noir’s or can enjoy a movie for being well made, give it a chance. Personally, I’m not a fan of the musical stuff, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.

Second movie I want to mention is Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis. As you will learn in my review, it’s not a movie you can approach in a straight up way. You pretty much have to ignore the movies plot, take the subtext lightly and look deep at the subtext to the subtext or the metaphor under the metaphor. If you watch the movie thinking of it as being about Coppola himself and film making in general, it becomes a lot more interesting. It’s not for everyone though. Both these films are for true cinephiles. People at film school will probably appreciate them, but if you want to chill with a beer and some popcorn… Yeah, maybe don’t watch these. But then that’s where Red One and Gladiator II come in. So whatever kind of viewer you are, two of these films should be worth giving a chance to.

Box Office Breakdown

So finally we are on to the objective part of this round up. What movies actually made money. This year the top ten global box office contains ten franchise movies. Yep, not a single one of these is an original movie. This is pretty normal for these days and part of the reason why movies are starting to struggle. There isn’t enough effort put in by the studios to build new franchises. Not that there aren’t original movies, but they are usually lower budget, less pushed by the studios and often direct to streaming. Anyway here is the top ten in the global box office for the year 2024.

  1. Inside Out 2 – $1.7b (“Break Even” Aprox $600m) $1.1b Profit (Aprox)
  2. Deadpool & Wolverine – $1.3b (“Break Even” Aprox $600m) $700m Profit (Aprox)
  3. Despicable Me 4 – $969m (“Break Even” Aprox $400m) $569m Profit (Aprox)
  4. Moana 2 – $804b (“Break Even” Aprox $600m) $204m Profit (Aprox)
  5. Dune: Part Two – $708m (“Break Even” Aprox $600m) $108m Profit (Aprox)
  6. Wicked – $593m (“Break Even” Aprox $900m) $300m loss (Aprox)
  7. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire – $569m (“Break Even” Aprox $450m) $119m Profit (Aprox)
  8. Kung Fu Panda 4 – $548m (“Break Even” Aprox $300m) $248m Profit (Aprox)
  9. Venom: The Last Dance – $470m (“Break Even” Aprox $330m) $140m Profit (Aprox)
  10. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice – $450m (“Break Even” Aprox $300m) $150m Profit (Aprox)

Analysis

Only the first two of this list broke a billion, same as last year. Indeed post covid that is the average. Pre covid it was around 5 per year. With high inflation and ticket prices increasing even beyond that, we should be seeing more not less. In 2014, “Interstellar”, an original movie and the 10th highest earning that year made $653m. If you adjust for inflation that would be around $871m. That would place it 4th on this years list. Of the $200m+ production budget club, only the top three of this year could be called a success. The other wins are for those films that controlled their budgets. Kung Fu Panda 4 being most notable. “Wicked”, despite it’s success is still a financial failure (Offset a little by it’s strong US box office).

The top ten this year is fairly predictable. These are all fairly safe bets outside of perhaps the Dune sequel and of course, all franchise movies. Dune II was only in the air because the first movie came out during covid and as a result didn’t give us a clear indicator of popularity. However, the cinema is largely starved of proper science fiction blockbusters these days and clearly there is still a market. We will almost certainly see more entries from nine of these in the years to come. Venom. however. is done now along with Sony’s Spider-Man-less Spider-Man films. Outside of the Venom movies that universe has been a total failure and it’s unlikely Venom 3 will have made up for the losses of “Madam Web” and “Kraven”, both apparently in the running for worst superhero movie of all time.

Final Notes

By contrast to the box office, my top ten of the year only included four franchise movies. One of which, “The Fall Guy” was a reboot of an 80’s franchise and so could hardly be said to be a cynical cash in. Most people forgot that 80’s series existed. That’s not the case with Beverly Hills Cop, that was very much a cash in on Nostalgia, but it was done very well and deserves it’s place on the list. That’s the thing, there’s nothing wrong with legacy sequels or franchises, but they shouldn’t totally dominate the blockbuster side of the movies. One of the reasons the modern era is so reliant on the IP’s is because almost no one watches movies for the actors anymore. The age of the movie star is long gone. But with it, the freedom to take chances with the actual movies.

In the social media age, I’m not sure you can have movie stars. So that means studios need to be willing to take more risks with the films themselves so they can create the franchises of the future. It’s not all bad news though. There are good films out there, they just may require a little bit of digging around to find. How many of my top ten did you even hear about this year? What you may not realize is there are a lot more movies being made today than in the 1980’s and we live in the age of instant access. We have more freedom to find the content we like, but with freedom comes responsibility. It’s on us to find that content, we can’t wait for it to come to us. For cinephiles that’s not a problem, but for the general audience? That may be why the box office is still struggling.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The 2024 Wrap Up (Part One)

Well, here we are approaching the end of 2024. That means it is time for my annual wrap up. This year I am covering my top ten movies of the year, along with some honourable mentions. I’m also going to cover some of my favourite documentary and TV shows of the year. Part two will continue my top ten, suggest a few overlooked movies worth a second chance and have a look at the years box office. Hopefully between all that, I’ll give you a few suggestions that may have passed you by.

My Top Ten (Part One)

Honorable mentions first. Let’s start with the body horror “The Substance“. A film that tries to be more artistic than it needed to be, but ultimately unique and very well done. “Strange Darlings” is another horror worthy of mention. The psychological psycho movie relies a bit too much on it’s twist and the chopped up timeline, but is well acted and brutal. More of the fun and low budget side is the prog-rock comedy horror “Destroy All Neighbors“. Ridiculous, but had me in stitches, more for the prog-rock parody than the Troma style horror.

2024 gave us a good amount of solid popcorn action movies too. “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” for example is easily the best American Godzilla movie. They learned from the mistakes of the previous movies in the franchise and finally nailed the formula. Also worth mentioning are “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes“, Guy Ritchie’s “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare” and “The Beekeeper“. All flawed, but fun movies, with plenty of action and well worth a watch. Now on to the top ten!

#10 Saturday Night

First on my list is the high paced, frantic comedy “Saturday Night”. Full review can be found HERE. Despite never actually having watched the show, I know many of the more famous sketches and am a big fan of a lot of the comedians that made their name on the show. So while I wasn’t viewing this as a fan, I had a lot of interest and it didn’t fail to entertain. It is both a fascinating look behind the scenes of one of the most important comedy shows of all time and funny in its own right. The highlight for me was the performances of the actors playing the roles of these very famous characters. They were all pretty much nailed and that earned this a 6.5/10

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

#9 Arthur The King

Review (From a roundup) HERE. Another movie I wasn’t expecting to land in the top ten, but at the same time it is a heart warming story with a dog. It’s an easy sell to most people. It’s also very well made and since it’s based on a truly story, all the more compelling. The movie has a number of random changes from the true story that inspired it. That would be fine, but a lot of the changes didn’t really add anything, so just seem strange. Of course until you look up the true story, you wouldn’t even know that. If you want a compelling tearjerker, check this out. 6.5/10.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

#8 The Fall Guy

I still don’t know what made anyone think rebooting the 80’s TV series “The Fall Guy” as a comedy action movie in 2024 was a good idea. However, it turns out it actually was a good idea! Ryan Gosling nailed the role and the movie became both a fun action movie and a fairly heartfelt tribute to movie stunt men. They even dropped in a cameo from Lee Majors and Heather Thomas (Stars of the old show). This movie reminds me of the Miama Vice one (Which did a similar end of movie cameo for the originals). Good, entertaining, but probably will be forgotten in a few years if they don’t follow it up. 6.5/10.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

#7 Dune: Part Two

Full review HERE. Now this is a movie I did expect to be on this list. What is a surprise is that it didn’t make the top five. But there I had a lot of issues with this movie, especially in the area of the characters and the emotional connection to the events. I felt very detached as I watched this movie and yet the spectacle is certainly impressive. Villeneuve continues to be a mixed bag for me and not the infallible auteur some seem to think he is. I will never consider his Blade Runner sequel a good movie and a lot of the issues with that he had here too. That said, this is still my sixth favourite movie of the year. No one can say that Villeneuve is a bad director, I just disagree on how good he is. This was a 6.5/10 for me.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

#6 Juror #2

Clint Eastwoods final (Probably) movie as a director is a court room drama with a twist of neo-noir. This hit theatres recently, but had a very short run (Blatantly to qualify for Oscar consideration) and is already on streaming. Court room dramas are strange beast, on the surface you expect them to be boring but once they get rolling they are among the most compelling dramas you can watch. This particular court room drama is very much in the style of “Twelve Angry Men”, which means a lot of the film is twelve strangers in a room talking. This is the kind of thing that is difficult to pull off unless you have good actors, a good script and a good director. No worries here though. I only just saw this one so there may be a full review at some point. Since I don’t have a review, let’s call this a very strong 6.5/10.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Documentaries

There have been a number of interesting documentaries released this year and I have to give a shout out to a couple. “Jim Henson Idea Man” was both interesting and emotional. We all love the muppets and if you grew up any time before the late 90’s you were probably impacted by at least one of his creations. Maybe The Dark Crystal, maybe Labyrinth, Maybe the Muppets. This is a pretty thorough documentary and I felt like you really get to know the man behind the creations. Definitely worth checking out.

One documentary though ended up an even more emotional journey and that is “Super/Man“. The Christopher Reeves documentary is focused mostly on his life after he became paralysed, but also covers his ground breaking role as Superman in. It is a reminder that while we generally separate the art from the artist, every now and then an actor comes along that so totally embodies the character they are playing it becomes impossible to separate the two.

TV Shows

On the TV side I have less recommendations as I don’t watch as much TV as I do movies. I have continued to thoroughly enjoy “Cobra Kai” in its final season. If you still haven’t explored this show, now is the perfect time. This is how you do a legacy sequel. Another favourite returning in 2024 was Sylvester Stalone’s “Tulsa King“. The shows second season provided both a good stand alone arc and a satisfying continuation of the story lines from season one. The year also saw the third season of the horror/mystery series “From” and the show continues to be good while offering something that looks very much like momentum and direction. I feel like we are going somewhere here, but then I’ve been fooled before (i.e. “Lost”)

One new show I enjoyed this year was the Rome based “Those About to Die“. It’s not the masterpiece that “Rome” was, it doesn’t have as much intrigue as “I Claudius” and it’s not as action filled as “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”. Instead it lands somewhere in between. What makes the season work is the immensely talented Iwan Rheon. A show I was more anxious about than excited was “Fallout“. However, the end result was actually a lot of fun and true to at least the Bethesda versions of the game (Which means, the lore is somewhat flexible). There’s plenty you could pick apart here, but they did pretty much nail the mix of grim reality, grey morality, retro 50’s sci-fi and outright comedy the franchise is known for.

Best TV Show of the Year

As I mentioned, I don’t watch anywhere near as much TV as I do movies. So before I get on to my favourite show of the year, I want to mention a few that are on my list to watch and that my friends and family have loved. First up is the Samurai Epic “Shōgun“. A new adaptation of the 1975 novel by the same name by James Clavell. Another popular show is Guy Ritchies “The Gentlemen“. I was a fan of the movie it follows on from and it seems the like series is close to that in quality. A few more names I’ve heard a lot include: “The Day of the Jackal“, “Masters of the Air” and “Three Body Problem“.

The best TV series I have seen this year is easily “The Penguin“. The reaction to the movie “The Batman” was lukewarm at best, but everyone did pretty much agree that Collin Farrell was great as The Penguin in his all too short cameo. The idea of a spin off series from that based on Penguin seemed like a bad idea with an outside chance of being great. Well, they landed on that outside chance! Farrell of course was great, but so is his supporting cast and the story itself. What stands out, is this is not yet another villain being turned into an anti-hero. Penguin is definitely a bad guy.

End of Part One

That’s it for part one. I’ll be back with my top five movies of 2024 and box office breakdown in a few days.

Christmas Horror Triple Bill

I’ve been threatening to review some Christmas horrors for a few years and now is the time. Given horrors obsession with holiday themes it’s not a huge surprise to learn there are an awful lot of Christmas horror films. It’s probably even a less of a surprise that most of them are also awful. There are a few diamonds in the rough, the question is can I find them? Actually I’m not sure I’m even looking for them, but if I can find some entertaining enough to recommend we’ll call that a win!

Santa’s Slay (2005)

First up is “Santa’s Slay” from 2005. Written and directed by David Steiman, a long time assistant to Brett Ratner. Currently this is Steiman’s only feature. This features Bill Goldberg as the demonic Santa (Son of Satan) with Douglas Smith playing hero and Emilie de Ravin (Claire from “Lost”) and Robert Culp in support. There’s a few cameos too including Saul Rubinek, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher and Tom “Tiny” Lister Jr. Not the biggest stars, but bigger than I expected for this movie anyway!

Nicholas Yuleson Smith(Smith) lives with his grandfather (Culp), a crackpot inventor, who has a dislike of Christmas. After discovering his grandfather has built a bunker in the basement he enquires why he hates Christmas so much and learns that Santa Claus is actually the son of Satan. Santa was tricked into being good for 1000 years, but that ends tonight. As far fetched as that sounds, it turns out to be true as Santa (Goldberg) arrives in town to cause havoc. It’s down to Nicholas, his grandfather and girlfriend Mary (de Ravin) to stop him… somehow.

Top Bill-ing

So the main negative here is that Bill Goldberg would struggle to act his way out of a paper bag. Turns out not all wrestlers are cut out for acting. Fortunately for a good portion of the film Bill isn’t given much he can mess up, with minimal dialogue. What Goldberg can do is beat people up, so that part is fine and the gratuitous Christmas violence is pretty amusing. It also helps that he has a solid supporting cast around him (Mostly recognizable TV actors). Suffice to say the film doesn’t take itself too seriously and for a while it is pretty funny.

Where it falls apart is in the final act when it tries to find itself a conclusion and it starts asking a bit too much from the former WCW champion. The truth is the premise is starting to wear out it’s appeal at that point (Not to mention all the upbeat “Fun” Christmas songs). While Douglas Smith and Emily De Raven are decent actors (TV actors at least), I’m not sure they got quite enough direction here because they didn’t impress. The actual ending feels about as anticlimactic as possible. With Santa “dealt” with by an a previously unseen character and then an awkward non-ending.

Who’s Next?

There actually was potential here for a fun B-Movie here, but the movie ends up trying to do more than was needed and ends up falling over itself. With a run time of only one hour and fourteen minutes, it made no sense to try and throw so many minor characters into the story. The movie either needed to have a lot of that stripped away and left to focus on the three leads or they needed a bit more to that run time so that the peripheral characters can feel like an actual part of the story. They also needed, frankly, a better actor playing Santa. Sorry Bill, this gig is not for you. This is a 5/10, but that is me being generous (Must be the Christmas spirit).

Rating: 5 out of 10.

Christmas Evil (1980)

The second film of the Christmas horror triple bill is the 1980 horror “Christmas Evil”. This is from writer/director Lewis Jackson. If you don’t know the name that’s not a surprise since he only made three movies. This is his only movie that has enough votes to warrant an IMdB score. The movie was actually recommended to me by a friend, otherwise I would likely not even know it existed. Brandon Maggart stars as “Harry Stadling” as a mentally ill man with an obsession with Santa Claus. Jeffrey DeMunn and Dianne Hull provide support. Another reason I may have missed this movie is it is one of the famous “Video nasties” that was banned (And confiscated) in the UK . The movie was eventually re-released and legalized in 2012.

The story follows the day to day life of Harry Stadling. A developmentally challenged child, traumatized by seeing his father, dressed as Santa, having sex with his mother. Thirty three years later, he works in a low level desk job at the “Jolly Dreams” toy factory. The factory workers consider him a schmuck, mock him and take advantage of him. In his spare time, Harry watches the neighbourhood children and makes notes on who has been good or bad. As Christmas draws near Harry’s mental state is on the edge and after informing his brother that he won’t be visiting his family for Christmas this year, he goes on a spree of killing and good will. Giving children presents while taking revenge on those he considers to have done wrong (Including his co-workers).

The Naughty List

Despite its reputation as a video nasty, this is a 70’s style horror. It has more in common with the first Halloween film than Friday the 13th. It is a slow burn at the start but then becomes somewhat suddenly and brutally violent. By the standard of modern gore fests it is mild, it just feels more shocking because of the build. Harry has spent a lot of time preparing for this day. What we are watching for most of the film is a spree killer in the hours before engaging in the spree. This is something you rarely see in slashers. Indeed it’s rare to follow the killers perspective at all, except in biopics of real life killers. This is a refreshing change, but it’s also very well done. You sympathize somewhat with the character, but at the same time you have no doubt that he is unhinged.

When the killings start, the movie provides contrasting moments of kindness and joy between the killings. We also see Harry’s grip on reality gradually slip. The movie offers social commentary and humour along with a number of impressive visuals. The budget of $850k was about average (Maybe slightly above) for a horror film in the 1980’s. Considering that, it’s not mind blowing what they achieved, but it’s still more than I expected of a 1980’s video nasty Christmas horror. Brandon Maggart does a great job and the support are all reasonable. Last but not least, the ending was a nice touch (But no spoilers).

To All A Good Night

Overall, this is an impressive little cult movie. Nothing groundbreaking as such, but well made, entertaining and worth a watch. It’s a shame Lewis Jackson seems to have stopped making movies after this release. If you are into edgy horror that has a bit of a psychological build to it (Basically 70’s horror), you will undoubtedly enjoy this. If not, you may still find it’s endearing quirkiness mildly amusing. You’ll only be disappointed if you read too much into it’s ban in the UK. Very few of the banned movies were actually that horrific. Anyway, for me this a 6.5/10 and a recommendation.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

For the last story filled with Christmas fear, I’m reviewing “A Christmas Horror Story” from 2015. This is an anthology horror, but unlike most the stories play out simultaneously. Despite this, as is often the case with anthologies we have multiple writers and directors. Steve Hoban came up with the original idea and is joined in the chair by Brett Sulivan and Grant Harvey. The three have worked together several times, specifically for the Ginger Snaps trilogy. It is worth noting mind that none of them directed the original (And in my view only good one). Still, their CV’s include a lot of good work and they clearly love the genre. With four stories on the table and a linking radio segment (With William Shatner as the DJ), there is quite a large cast. Top billing is given to Shatner, George Buza (As Santa) and Rob Archer (As Krampus).

Since there are three stories I’ll keep the synopsis brief. Santa is having problems in the North Pole with some zombie elves. A family visit their creepy rich aunt, only for their son to break a figure of Krampus and the family to be thrown out by their Aunt. It seems they may have unleashed a great evil. A group of students break into their school to do video documentary on the ritualistic killings that happened their the previous years only to get locked in schools basement. Finally the cop that discovered those dead students the previous year takes his son and wife to some private land to help themselves to a Christmas tree. While there, their son disappears only to reemerge from a tree, but is it still their son?

Mixed Bag: Coal and Presents

First up, I want to say I enjoyed the intro for the movie. Definitely sets things up well. As we get into the story it’s a bit more of a mixed bag. Normally with an anthology horror you have highs and lows, stand outs and also-rans. However, when they are all mixed together like this it becomes a lot harder to get a sense of the quality of the individual stories. That protects the weaker ones somewhat but also limits the strong ones. On the positive, it makes what are always relatively short horror stories feel more substantial. The negative is it is hard to really invest in any of them. I think ultimately I prefer when the stories are more separate.

It wouldn’t be so much of an issue if the stories actually intertwined, but they don’t. Sure the cop in the changeling story was the one that discovered the victims in the school the previous year, but that is only seen in a video recording and has no impact on his actual story. He is meant to be traumatized by it, but it’s not like we ever see that. It was a missed opportunity to use his story as a means to get context on the other. Meanwhile the Santa story only really intertwines with the Radio DJ’s brief contributions (Admittedly in a clever way) and the final part is entirely isolated. Early they tease that one crossing over with Santa, but that doesn’t happen.

Trees, Santa, Krampus And The Virgin Birth

Looking at the stories individually and they are actually pretty solid. The school story is easily the weakest and you basically know where it is going to go right away. The changeling story is the best outright horror entry, while the Santa story is the most fun and provides the best twist. The Krampus story meanwhile provides a good monster story and has a little twist of its own. Krampus looks pretty good, though I’ve seen scarier versions (Such as the ones I’ve been generating with AI recently). The movie has some solid visuals in all sections and the music is used well. William Shatner doesn’t have a great deal to do, but his role in linking the stories is vital and he is charming and mildly amusing while not hamming things up and taking you out of it.

So overall, I think this is a recommendation. Mixing the stories up didn’t really help it and they don’t intertwine particularly well. However, none of the stories are bad, they all have Christmas themes and two are actually very entertaining. The Krampus story felt like there wasn’t enough to it, while the haunted school was a bit too generic. The changeling and the zombies elves though were excellent. The movie kept me entertained throughout and I think that just about earns it a 6.0/10.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Merry Christmas

So that’s a wrap. Three movies, two recommendations for all horror fans and one for wrestling fans, just because it’s amusing to watch Bill Goldberg as a psychotic Santa. I have to admit, that’s a lot better than I expected when I decided to review Christmas themed horrors! So, the question is should I do this again next year? Well, maybe if you are nice…. Or possibly naughty. Not sure how that should work!

Megalopolis (2024)

So another movie I didn’t intend to write about this year is Francis Ford Coppola’s passion project “Megalopolis”. There was so little interest in this movie that even a 1 in 3 walkout rate barely got the attention of the media and many critics skipped reviewing the film because they really couldn’t figure out what to say about it. I expect most people will react to this review with: “I didn’t even know that film existed”. But the thing is after I did finally watch the movie, I turned out to have a lot to say about it. So here we are. I’m not going to give you a synopsis for this one because frankly the plot isn’t important. Yes, it’s that kind of film.

This is a movie that Coppola has been trying to get made since the 80’s. I suspect that had he made the movie back then the end result would have been vastly different. Instead this is a movie from an 85 year old likely at the end of his career. The movie ended up far more introspective than anything else. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Megalopolis is written and directed by Coppola, with Mihai Mălaimare Jr. as cinematographer and Osvaldo Golijov providing the score. The impressive cast includes: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel. Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne and Dustin Hoffman. Right let’s get into it!

Making A Movie Inside Out

Megalopolis poses the question of if it is possible to make a film inside out. That is, where the philosophical subtext is on the surface and the plot functioning as a metaphor bubbles subtly underneath it almost unnoticed. The film has more than two layers though, so there is subtext to the subtext. What this film is really about is Francis Ford Coppola and his examination of himself as an artist and the place of art in the world. That lies on top of what appears a somewhat grating examination of society, corruption and hope for the future. But that lies on top of the actual plot which is almost inconsequential to anything. So to examine this film we need to look at each layer separately.

Lets start with the actual plot and get that out of the way. For most of the movie there effectively is none. We spend more time watching characters philosophize and as a result don’t really get to know much about the minor players. We spend more time focusing on Cesar Catilina and Julia Cicero with the rest of the cast just sort of there. The actual plot, based off the “Catilinarian Conspiracy” doesn’t really kick into gear until the last 40 minutes of the film. That is an hour and a half in and it is rushed through. The entire time that plot is in full gear Cesar, Julia and Mayor Cicero are entirely removed from the situation. The plot resolves itself without even requires any of our main characters to be involved. It is treated as unimportant and perhaps that is itself a metaphor.

The Metaphor To The Metaphor

The second layer is the grating sociopolitical one. Which is presented in a pretty obvious and perhaps even childish manner. The Utopian city being presented is built on a magical new substance that was discovered by chance and can basically perform miracles. One tip if you watch the movie, every time someone says “Megalon” replace it in your head with “Rock and Roll”. You’ll be overcome with a desire to listen to Starship in no time. We are shown slums, violence on the streets and in case the audience doesn’t get it a giant slumped over statue of justice, who has apparently given up. This layer tells us we can have a great future made out of magical bullshit. To be a bit kinder to it, the movie doesn’t offer solutions and merely says a conversation is needed. But it’s still childish as it assumes that conversation is not happening.

But this is where the final layer improves things. See, I am not convinced the story is meant to be a preachy sociopolitical one. Instead, I am convinced the film is actually about creativity, specifically the role of the film maker. This is more obvious, before that main plot kicks. It is just that what he is saying, relates to the layer above, but not the actual plot. However, the constant philosophical musings of Cesar, the architect, drops clear hints that he is functioning directly as a mouth piece for Coppola. When he comments about man creating gods but not being able to harness the power of gods, it seems to reflect the frustration of a film maker not able to directly harness the power of his movies.

Creating Conversation

This also re-frames the repeated lines that the goal isn’t to provide solutions but to create a conversation. Coming from a political ideologue it seems a childish naive view, but coming from an artist it makes perfect sense. It is not an artists job to provide solutions to politicians and scientists. This is especially true when tackling difficult social issues and in science fiction. I’ve said many times the difference between old science fiction and what passes for it these days is that the old films and shows were designed to make you think, the new ones try and tell you what to think. That is a horrendous mistake that causes more harm than good. So it is vital for modern film makers to understand this. Coppola I think does.

So, ultimately there is a reason why the political preaching of the film feels superficial, because it too is a metaphor and not important in itself. This is an incredible ambitious piece of film making and it’s worth noting that many great directors end up effectively making a movie about themselves and the art of making films. Invariably it ends up their undoing, though not due to being actually bad. Consider Michael Powell’s “Peeping Tom” or Orson Welles “The Other Side of the Wind”. This movie is almost impossible to like, but still impressive and fascinating in equal measure. That makes it hard to rate, but since this will only appeal harden film scholars (More hardened than myself), I think a 5/10 is fair.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

Review Roundup – December 2024

It’s been a while since I did a review roundup. But I’m back with three movies from this year to check out. These are basically family/kids movies. Seems appropriate for the holiday. All three of these movies will entertain kids and may entertain adults too. First up we have that other Ryan Reynolds movie that came out this year “IF”, then we have the first Transformers animated movie since the 80’s with “Transformers One” and finally I have “The Wild Robot”, you won’t want to miss that one I promise.

If

First up is the imaginary friend comedy “If”, also known as the other movie with Ryan Reynolds that came out this year. This is the latest release from Writer/Director John Krasinkski, so I’m not the only one switching from horror to family movies. Krasinki of course was the man behind the “Quiet Place” franchise. While Quiet Place had a relatively small cast, this one is exploding with named talent including Reynolds, Louis Gossett jr., Steve Carell, Emily Blunt, Blake Lively, Matt Damon and others. The leads though are Reynolds and Cailey Fleming as young Bea, the films protagonist.

12 Year old Bea moves into her grandmother Margaret’s apartment in New York while her father waits for heart surgery in the same hospital where her mother died of cancer years earlier. Naturally she is worried, but her father uses humour to try and raise her spirits. On her way home one day she spots a strange creature and follows it to another apartment in the same block. She discovers a whole load of strange creatures and a strange man that lives there called “Cal” (Reynolds). Bea learns these are imaginary friends that have been shed by their child and that Cal is trying to find them all new children to attach to. Bea as someone able to see all of them is the perfect person to help.

Then

This is a visually imaginative and interesting movie. Each imaginary friend is distinct and unique and their world is weird and wonderful. Unfortunately, most of this was shown in the trailer and the movie itself adds almost nothing. If you have seen the trailer, you have seen pretty much all the characters. Each basically comes with a joke and so you’ve seen that too. They are all painfully one dimensional and frankly so are most of the human characters in this story. That said, it does have heart and maybe that is enough for some people.

The plot though is paper thin and none of the characters (Even the usually charming Reynolds) bring much vitality to the story. The story features a twist at the end that everyone will have predicted by the time it is revealed. That isn’t a deal breaker though, not all twists fail just because you guessed them. That said, this movie is more interesting for the vast list of actors that Krasinski convinced to do voice cameos than for the story itself. You won’t even be aware of many of cameos until you see the credits. But it’s still impressive, as is Krasinski’s imagination. But imagination alone doesn’t create a good movie

Ultimately this is a kids movie. As such it may entertain young children on the strength of the visuals alone. It is heartwarming in places, but offers very little in the way of memorable humour or compelling storytelling. . This is a 5.5/10, recommended only if you have kids and want a heartwarming, visually interesting movie. Everyone else should probably just skip it.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10.

Transformers One

Next up is the new Transformers animated movie. The first such release since the original Transformers movie from 1984. While that film was a huge success, this one didn’t do well in the box office. It did however garner good reactions from those that went to see it. I was always going to be a lot harder to please however, since I grew up in the golden age of Transformers and am very much a G1 Purist. I had all the comics, a huge amount of the toys and of course watched the cartoon. This film however is technically in the Michael Bay continuity and that’s already a mark against it. This time around they’ve drafted in a formidable voice acting cast including “The Avengers” Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson.

Set an undisclosed amount of time before the Michael Bay transformers movie, the story depicts the origin story of Optimus Prime, Megatron and many others. In this world Cybertronians are forced to live beneath the surface of their planet and mine for Energon. Supposedly because the Matrix of Leadership has been lost and without that the energon seas have all dried up. The alleged loss happened during a battle with the Quintessons, where all but one of the “Primes”, the most powerful cybertronians were slain. Two friends and lowly miners without transformation cogs Orion Pax and D-16 stumble upon the truth behind the story and their fates and the rest of Cyberton’s are forever changed. But while their stories began on the same path they will diverge radically and the friends will become the bitter enemies Optimus Prime and Megatron.

Teenformers

This is very much Transformers for teenagers. Some reviews are suggesting the characters are deeper and more nuanced than ever, but that is nonsense. These characters are generic MCU type characters. Ironic, considering the voice cast. Every male character starts as goofy comic relief with the exception of Alpha Trion. The only reason he isn’t goofy is because he’s the wise old mentor and exposition guy. By contrast all two female characters (Always a minority in this franchise) are overly serious and efficient. This is almost exactly the same set of characters as we saw in the D&D movie and any number of other action based films since the rise of the MCU. It’s a cliche, We really need a lot more variety with movie characters in action/adventure type stories. Especially when it comes to the women as this archetype has literally no charm.

Now one odd thing with the goofy characters is this makes the film a comedy and yet I don’t think the Michael Bay movies were meant to be comedies. Sure they had humour to them, but for the most part they were serious. But that’s not the only reason they don’t fit together. There’s also a second origin story for the Decepticon insignia. I don’t get the obsession with making a Transformer with the insignia for their face but this franchise has now done it twice. First with “The Fallen” and now with “Megatronus Prime”, which is bad twice over. Not only is it explaining something that didn’t need to be explained (Twice!), it means Megatron was just a fanboy for Megatronus Prime. It wasn’t even his name. Definite negative for me.

‘Till All Are One

Despite those negatives, the movie is amusing in places and the action is solid. The voice acting is fine, but really didn’t need the big name actors. The movie probably would have cost a lot less had they just stuck with the same voices that have been playing these characters for decades. The Megatron turn is not out of the blue but it’s not as nuanced as reviews would have you believe. He’s just angry. That’s it. Angry. It works better as an Optimus Prime origin, but not by much. The biggest positive is it does look good visually. I especially liked the Quintessons brief appearance. All told, it was entertaining but it’s not great. 5.5/10. Worth it if you are already a Transformers fan. If not, it won’t win you over.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10.

The Wild Robot

The final movie of this family friendly round up is a “The Wild Robot”, from Chris Sanders and Dreamworks. Sanders previously gave us “Lilo and Stitch” and “How To Train Your Dragon”, so it’s reasonable to have high expectations for this one. The voice cast here is headed up by Lupita Nyong’o, Pedro Pascal (Because it’s mandated by Hollywood that he must be in everything), and relative newcomer Kit Connor. The rest of the voice cast is full of recognizable names. Too many to list, but you’ll likely recognize a lot of the voices. The movie is based on the children’s novel of the same name by Peter Brown.

When a storm causes a Universal Dynamics cargo ship to lose five ROZZUM robot, one unit “7134” finds itself washed ashore of a remote island inhabited by a variety of wildlife. Following her build in directive she sets out to find how she can assist someone. To do so she has to learn their languages, but even then they react with hostility so she decides to return to her factory. After accidentally destroying a bird nest she discovers an egg and decides her task is to protect the egg. When the egg hatches she intends to return to the factory, but is convinced to raise the hatching until it can migrate. Of course things won’t be that simple. She is at least assisted by a Fox, in it for the luxury afforded by befriending a robot helper.

Mother Nature

This is a surprisingly good movie. In some ways it reminds me of Wall-E but this time with anthropomorphic animals. But these animals are only able to talk because Roz learned their languages. It’s obviously a leap to expect the animals to suddenly have human personalities because the robot now can communicate with them. That doesn’t really matter though, it’s still a clever way of reaching the main setup of the movie. But while a robot talking to animals may sounds like childish, it’s worth noting that the cycle of nature of very much at the forefront of this story. Quite a few of the jokes are actually about the reality of predators, prey and the chances of surviving as a wild animal. Playing these for laughs is actually very effective, because it tends to catch you by surprise. But it’s also fundamental to what the story becomes as Roz effectively learns to be a mother.

The Wild Robot has a great flow to it. The funny moments and the emotional ones are well balanced and the occasional action scene maintains a pace. The movie basically keeps you interested the whole way through. While the story has a primary three characters, it gives you just enough personality with the supporting animals and robots for them to feel like genuine, interesting characters. The truth is they are all at their core very simple. Their motivations and personality are somewhat one dimension because they are animals and robots, so of course they are. But the voice acting is able to raise this to a level where they still feel genuine and you actually care about them. The praise for that must be shared between the writers, animators and voice cast.

Conclusion

I delayed watching this movie because frankly I’m bored with Pedro Pascal being in everything. Lupita Nyong’o meanwhile, I was aware of but, largely indifferent to. Her roles in Marvel and Star Wars movies never really gave her a chance to shine. I have to admit though, both did a tremendous job with the voice acting here. Kit Connor I didn’t know at all, but he impressed me too . The animation is top notch as well, but then this is Dreamworks and they tend to put out quality looking features. There’s not really any weak links that I could find.

But while the cast and animation are solid, it is the story that makes the film work. The most important thing is it has heart and is also very funny. It will entertain the kids, it will entertain the adults and some may shed a tear or two along the way. Dreamworks have outdone themselves here. I’ve got to give it a 7.5/10. Highly recommended. So that’s it for the wrap up, two situational recommendations and one must see. Not bad. See you next time!

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Review Roundup – Film Noir

November is over, but I have three more Film Noirs I watched this month to review. That means you get another triple bill review round up! These reviews don’t get as many views as the horrors or recent releases, but that’s not why I do them. I do them because Film Noir is great and I want more people to watch it! Some of the best film makers of the last 40 years were influenced by these movies. That influence is starting to wane and it shows in the movies being released. Another factor is a lot of people just won’t watch black and white movies. This is a shame because some of the best films ever made were black and white.

So for your consideration, I give you the movies “Slightly Scarlet” from 1956, “The Fallen Sparrow” from 1943 and “Murder By Contract” from 1958. This is an interesting mix. We have a Film Noir actually in colour and we have a movie shot in 7 days. We have spies, we have assassins, and we have kleptomaniacs. These all score a 6 or above so are all recommendations. But you’ll likely notice I rarely score a Noir lower than 6. There are bad ones of course, but time has not been kind to those, so chances are if I’m watching it, it is at least above average.

Slightly Scarlet (1956)

This is one of the very few film noir from the fifties that is actually in colour. That makes it somewhat debatable as a Film Noir but all the other elements are here. The title refers to the two redhead sisters the plot revolves around and so you can see why they opted for colour. The film stars John Payne, Rhonda Fleming and Arlene Dahl with support from Kent Taylor and Ted de Corsia. Experienced director Allan Dwan takes the directing chair and has the benefit of the legendary John Alton for cinematography. Alton’s impeccable eye helps make the movie still work within the genre, despite not being black and white. The screenplay is by Robert Blees based on the novel “Love’s Lovely Counterfeit” by James M. Cain.

The movie revolves around the manipulative and ambitious Ben Grace (Payne) and his attempts to manipulate his way to the top of the mob. His plan involves seeing off current boss Solly Casper (de Corsia), controlling the mayor and installing his friend as chief of police. To achieve these ends he must gain influence over mayoral candidate Frank Jansen (Taylor). To do that he targets Jansen’s girlfriend and secretary June Lyons (Fleming). His leverage there comes in the form of June’s troubled sister Dorothy (Dahl), recently released from prison for a spate of shop lifting offenses. Things go to plan up until a point, but the somewhat unhinged Dorothy can’t but avoid to throw a spanner into the works. The house of cards may then very well fall down.

Seeing Red

It is strange watching a 50’s noir in colour and outside of actually seeing the ladies red hair I’m not sure there was any benefit to it. However, Alton does make it work and there is plenty of his trademark painting with light and shadows. Plus the two ladies do look rather good. It mostly works visually. Thematically it is very much a noir though, with the ambitious schemes of a morally questionable man working towards his own undoing. Dorothy isn’t exactly a femme fatale, instead she has more in common with Carmen Sternwood from The Big Sleep. Basically, a headcase that causes trouble for everybody else. June on the other hand is the “Good girl”, though in my view is a bit too easy to be manipulated by Ben.

The story works relatively well. Ben gains some semblance of a conscience by the end and matters resolve pretty much how you would expect. The big problem with this though is none of the characters are really that likable. This is a common problem with modern movies, but in this era you could usually find some degree of charm. June comes close, but I never felt that invested. The performances from the cast are decent, especially from Payne, but nothing really elevates the movie. Ultimately this is a fairly average noir that just happens to be in colour. Fortunately, average for a noir is still worth watching so this is a 6/10.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

The Fallen Sparrow (1943)

Our second movie takes us back to the early days of Film Noir, before the end of World War 2. The war was very much on the minds of those making movies in those days (Especially with so many in Hollywood in those days being Jewish immigrants that fled Nazi persecution). So it’s no shock to hear spy movies were quite popular in the early forties. Film Noir would tend to have it’s own spin on spy stories and this is no exception. “The Fallen Sparrow” is director Richard Wallace from a screenplay by Warren Duff. This is based on the novel by the same name by Dorothy B. Hughes (Writer of “Ride The Pink Horse” and “In a Lonely Place”). Roy Webb provides the score and was nominated for an Oscar for doing so. Nicholas Musuraca provides cinematography.

The movie stars John Garfield, Maureen O’Hara and Walter Slezak. Garfield plays Spanish civil war veteran John McKittrick, returning from a period of rehab to his hometown to investigate the murder of his friend. McKittrick was imprisoned in Spain for two years and was tortured constantly but never revealed his secrets. The source of a lot of that trauma is the sound he would hear of a man with a limp, whom he never saw but was certain was his chief tormentor. Now it seems the death of his friend may be tied to the machinations of his former captors and the secret which McKittrick still holds. It seems it is time to confront his chief tormentor… If he can figure out who that is.

Drip Drip Drip

This is more of a psychological movie than a straight spy movie. Indeed the actual spy elements are somewhat disappointing. The big secret is ultimately not really important, what is important is McKittrick’s suffering while a captive and the trauma he has been forced to carry with him. This is really his story of overcoming trauma and facing those that traumatized him. This is him regaining his humanity and his masculinity. For the story to work from this angle the weight is on the shoulders of Garfield, Wallace, Webb and Musuraca. Garfield was one of the most underrated actors in the history of Hollywood and he really does sell the trauma well. Wallace, Webb and Musuraca meanwhile provide a tapestry of nightmares woven out of the reality surrounding McKittrick. Every drop of water, every footstep and every shadow seems to conspire to remind the war veteran of his trauma.

The movies weakness is in the plot. There is a bit of a muddle of characters and distractions that fluff up a very straight forward plot. The villain of the story effectively reveals himself at the start and you never really doubt where this is going, yet the film still wants you to think it is a mystery. At some points you find yourself questioning how much is in McKittrick’s head and yet that is quickly dismissed by events going on around him. The muddled plot is balanced out by how good the rest of it is landing this movie as a somewhat above average Noir. This is a 6.5/10.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Murder By Contract (1958)

For the final movie of my Noirvember Reviews, I’m covering Irving Lerner 1958 Film Noir “Murder By Contract”. I saved the best for last. This is a film with a bit of a reputation, largely thanks to Martin Scorsese citing it as perhaps his largest influence. Ben Simcoe provides the screenplay and apparently Ben Maddow had an uncredited hand in it too. Lucien Ballard provides cinematography and Perry Botkin the score. Vince Edwards stars as “Claude” the hitman, Herschel Bernardi and Phillip Pine provide the main support as his minders “George” and “Marc”. The movie was shot in just over just seven days.

Claude is a cool, yet peculiar young man with a single ambition, to buy a beach house. But he wants to achieve this in an unusual way. He wants to be a contract killer and he is cool as a cucumber about it. He has an in with a local crime boss and makes the most out of his opportunity. Eventually becoming a highly sort after hitman. When the opportunity comes up to make $5000 on one hit he jumps at it, but the job has one complication: The target is a woman. Claude doesn’t do hits on women, not for any kind of moral code though as Claude doesn’t have one of those. He just finds them too unpredictable; Women always mean trouble. This one turns out to be particularly difficult to kill.

Women Are Always Trouble

From the opening scene you know you are on to something here. A nice bit of guitar music (Reminds me a bit of “The Third Man”) accompanies a simple scene of Claude getting ready for for his big interview with the crime boss. We get a similar scene shortly after as he waits for the call for his first jobs. These are nice sections and we haven’t even started the plot yet. Actually that is one of the films trademarks, it doesn’t rush to get to any part of the plot. Instead it allows you to spend time to enjoy the characters. specifically Claude with his relaxed charm and occasional intense monologues, but also his constantly frustrated handlers, George and Marc. A good portion of the film is just the three of them hanging out. It helps the dialogue is very good. The scenes manage to be amusing and compelling.

All the characters are a little quirky, but not unbelievably so and it makes the basic interactions strangely compelling. While Scorsese may have claimed this has his biggest influence I would put money on this being a favourite of the Cohen Brothers too and perhaps It’s not just the characters though, the movie has good cinematography throughout. Most of it is actually shot in the day, but there’s a few of the trademark noir shadows. Really the visuals are particularly impressive with the short run time. The movie is sort of bare bones, but everything important is there. The back and forth with the attempts at assassination and the final moments where Claude accidentally remembers he is human are all compelling story telling and very Film Noir.

Conclusion

This is an impressive Film Noir. Not just because it is good, but because it achieves a lot with a little. Most of the action happens off screen and is implied with sound effects. The music is sparse but effective (There’s pretty much just two guitar tunes and a lot of silence) and there’s more dialogue than action. But it works. If the movie has a flaw it is in the swiftness of it’s ending, but considering the Hays codes requirements on stories about criminals, it was to be expected. They made the most out of the ending and it does work for the character. Claude ends up one of the most interesting characters from Film Noir and this is one of the genres better films. I am giving this an 8/10.

Really, I should have done this as a separate review given the score, but November is already over and I had three reviews to get out, so it’ll have to make do in a triple bill. That’s it for this years Film Noir wind down from the madness of the October Challenge. December will be fairly quiet on the review front, but I will have at least one roundup and the year in review to give you. Until then, I hope you enjoyed these reviews. My hope is that I can encourage people that may not normally watch old movies to give some of these Noirs a chance.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Saturday Night (2024)

This is a Docudrama retelling of the hours leading up to the debut of the comedy series Saturday Night Live. This is a show due to hit it’s 50th anniversary next year and has become an established path for comedians to break into the movie industry. Less so in recent years, where frankly it’s reputation has hit rock bottom. It’s worth noting SNL was meant to be a counter culture show, much like “The Simpsons”. But success and longevity tends to turn such shows into the very thing they were meant to culture in the first place. But the list of stars made on that stage in it’s first three decades is long and impressive: John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell and Tina Fey to name but ten.

In the UK, we never really got to see the show. It’s only thanks to the internet that I’ve been able to watch some of the most famous sketches retrospectively. I never have watched a full show though. This isn’t unusual for people outside the US, but we all know the movies that those listed above went on to star in. Especially true for those first few. The Blues Brothers, Beverly Hill’s Cop and Ghostbusters are legendary movies. Everyone knows them. So I was definitely curious about this movie. However, I’m not going to have the same affection for a show I never actually watched. The movie is directed by Jason Reitman and stars Gabriel LaBelle as Lorne Michaels, the mind behind the show. He’s joined by a vast ensemble cast, reflecting the real life characters that made the show happen.

Everybody Who is Anybody

Since most of the characters in this story are very well known celebrities the obvious question is how well do the actors nail them? Broadly speaking, I would say very well, at least the characters I actually know (About 75%). Nicholas Braun did double duty playing both Jim Henson and Andy Kaufman. Neither had a lot of screen time, but he nailed both. He could maybe even give Jim Carey a run for his money on Kaufman. Matthew Rhys briefly played George Carlin and felt pretty accurate. The big ones though were Cory Michael Smith as Chevy Chase, Dylan O’Brien as Dan Akroyd and Matt Wood as John Belushi. These were all spot on. Belushi seemed wild and Chase and Akroyd delivered lines exactly like they would in real life. From what I know of their personalities, I feel they nailed that too.

This is a mostly factual account of events. They have squeezed several events that may have happened but not in the run up to the first night into the story. A few events such as Milton Berle getting his dick out didn’t happen at Saturday Night Live. However, he was well known for showing off his meat, so it’s not a total fabrication. That said, this is a frantic movie packed with well known actors, famous characters and crazy events and frankly a lot of it could have been trimmed. Most notably the Berle stuff (Even with J.K Simmons in the role). Possibly a reason why it is there is because he’s considered the worst host the show ever had, so maybe it makes sense to actual fans of the show. The density of the cast also sometimes means it’s not always clear who is who. Indeed I probably missed a few cameos along the way.

Curtains Up

The most important question is of course, is it actually fun. Yes, for sure. It’s not really a film I can see having much replay value though. That’s probably due to the fast pace. The character moments didn’t really land for me and the stakes were a little redundant since I think most people figured the show would make it to air (You know, given the near 50 year run it’s had). So it’s not especially emotional or edge of the seat, but it is fascinating and amusing. I think most people will enjoy it regardless of if you know Saturday Night Live or not. I suspect if you do though, you will get more out of it. Conversely if you are too young to really care about 80’s and 90’s comedy films or know the comedians involved, this may not be for you. For me it just about hit 6.5/10 and largely on the strength of how convincing the impersonations were.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Gladiator II (2024)

Somewhere near the top of the list of sequels I never expected to see is Gladiator II. But Ridley Scott making a return to the Roman Colosseum was also something I wasn’t going to miss, so here we are. The unexpected sequel see’s Scott return as director but this time around the story is by Peter Craig and David Scarpa instead of David Franzoni. Since most of the characters from the original (And sadly two of the actors) are dead, the only returning ones are Connie Nielsen as “Lucilla” and Derek Jocobi as “Senator Gracchus”. They are joined by Paul Mescal as “Lucius/The Barbarian”, Denzel Washington as “Macrinus”, and Pedro Pascal as “Marcus Acadius”. Dual Emperors Geta and Caracalla are played by Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger respectively. John Mathieson returns to cinematography duties. Hanz Zimmer however is replaced by regular Scott colaborator Harry Gregson-Williams for the soundtrack.

Set sixteen years after the events of the original, the movie starts with the roman siege of Numidia and the capture of Roman refugee Lucius Verus (Living under the name “Hanno”). Lucius is enslaved and brought to Rome to be a Gladiator. Sensing something in him he can use to further his ambitions the stablemaster, Macinius promises him revenge against the general that took his city and killed his wife. Things are more complicated than they seem though. That general, Aracius, is actually a good man and married to Lucius’ mother Lucilla. Lucius is actually the heir to Rome and was sent away to protect him when he was a child. Sensing an opportunity, Macrinus tries to manipulate all the sides against each other in an attempt to seize power from the dual Emperors Geta and Carcalla.

The Gates Of Hell Are Open Night And Day

One of the things that made Gladiator so compelling was that it was actually a pretty straight forward yet compelling plot driven by superb ground breaking action and incredible performances from top tier actors, many of which were at their peak (Notable Russel Crowe). It wasn’t a perfect movie, but issues of historical inaccuracies felt unimportant next to such a triumphant performance. This was all wrapped up in one of the best movie soundtracks of all time. So we knew when they announced the sequel there were some pretty big boots to fill. Sequels rarely ever live totally up to the original, though the audiences are wise enough not to expect them to. But it is impossible not to draw comparisons especially given the trend of sequels to constantly reference the originals. This is even more of an issue for those late sequels released decades after the original.

Overcoming that comparison is where this movie fails. As I mentioned, the original had a straight forward plot. A great wrong was done to Maximus. He was betrayed and the rest of the movie is his journey towards righteous vengeance. The story for Gladiator II seems set up to be both a parallel and a subversion of this story. It’s not a bad plot, but it is far more complicated than Gladiator and this reduces the emotional impact of the story. It is a story that would be better suited to a TV series than a film. On top of this, frankly the acting is nowhere near as good. Again, it’s not actually bad and Denzel steals the show, but he had no real competition. The original had Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, Joaquin Phoenix and Russel Crowe all weaving gold. Here Denzel is largely propping the rest of the cast up.

Smooth The Descent

Gladiator 2 has another issue. Creating a story that makes sense as a follow up to one where protagonist and antagonist both died. They just about succeed. Some consider there to be a few too many callbacks, but it makes sense in context and to justify it as a sequel. Scott has taken a lot of liberties with history here, but then he did with the first film too. The story utilizes historical facts and characters, but twists them to fit his tale. It mostly works at least as an alternative history. The movie steals much of the music from the soundtrack of the original too, but this is a positive. The score for the original is famous and memorable. Referencing such music instantly evokes an emotion response. It is a reference that works and doesn’t get in the way of storytelling. Instead it enhances it.

What I can say about the plot is that it is very Roman! Remember all that political maneuvering and backstabbing from Game of Thrones? The Romans invented that. So while I do consider the plot overly complicated for an emotional character driven action fantasy, it entirely fits a story set in Rome. The characters are a bit more of a let down. Outside of the protagonist none of the Gladiators really feel like full characters. The same goes for the Roman senate and the military. Instead the film effectively hyper focuses on three characters: Lucius, Lucilla and Macrinus. Everyone else around them are pretty much just extras including the duel Emperors Geta and Caracalla and Pablo Pascal’s Marcus Acacius. None of them offer anything that memorable in their performance. Pascal seems to be trying, but the audience isn’t really given any reason to care about his character.

Easy Is The Way

Last but not least, let’s talk action. This was a key aspect of the original and it was always going to be vital here too. In this instance the movie doesn’t really make you feel the stakes as strongly, but the spectacle is certainly there. Of all the movies aspects this comes closest to the quality of the original. The only problem is this is 24 years later and we’ve seen a lot of spectacle since then. Indeed just recently the TV series “Those About To Die” had the Colosseum filled with water. The set piece in that series was a simple execution and not a battle, but it does make the spectacle feel less ground breaking. Still, I was happy with the quality of the action and the effects. It was as good as I hoped.

So on to the verdict then. Ultimately this is a good film, but it’s not a classic like the original. If it was a stand alone movie it wouldn’t make my physical media collection but as a sequel it is just about good enough for a double bill. While the story is a little over complicated and the acting and characters a little under whelming, I was reasonably gripped for the duration (Two and a half hours, about the same as the first film). Denzel Washington does a good job of propping everyone else up and is the glue that keeps this warship sailing. It all just about works. It just doesn’t excel. So I’m giving this a firm 6.5/10.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Human Desire (1954)

I review a lot less film noir in November than I do horror in October so I have far fewer traditions to revisit. One I do seem to have managed is to squeeze in a movie by one of my favourite directors, Fritz Lang. So this year I’m checking out Lang’s subversive 1954 noir “Human Desire”. The movie brings back together Glenn Ford and Gloria Grahame from Lang’s “The Big Heat” (1953), one of my personal favourites. The cast is filled out with support from Broderick Crawford and Peggy Maley. The script is from Alfred Hayes (Not the WWF interviewer from the 80’s) and based (loosely) on the novel “La Bête humaine” by Émile Zola. Burnett Guffey provides cinematography.

Jeff Warren (Ford), a Korean War veteran has just returned home and resumed his old job as a train engineer driving streamliners. While on a train travelling to Chicago he comes across Vicki (Grahame) in a state over something and spends some time with her. The pair obviously have chemistry, however later he finds out she is married to a work colleague Carl (Crawford). There is more to it though, since Carl just murdered someone on that train out of jealousy. Vicki was sent to distract Jeff so Carl could slip past him unnoticed. Jeff starts to see Vicki regularly and becomes infatuated with her, spurning the advances of the far more wholesome Jean (Maley). Vicki meanwhile sees Jeff as as her opportunity to get away from her abusive husband or rather do away with him….

Deceiver’s Descent

The combination of Lang/Ford/Grahame is one guaranteed to bring edginess and intensity to any movie. It worked superbly in The Big Heat, but this is a very different kind of story. The great thing with combo is it feels explosive, like anything can happen at any moment. Where Hitchcock can be subtle, Lang is persistent and aggressive. Ford meanwhile is one of the most intense performers of his day (Or any day) and Grahame’s is great at not just intense but also unhinged. If “Harley Quinn” was even a thing in the 50’s, she would have fit the role perfectly. All this gives the film a great deal more impact than the fairly bland story itself could hope for.

This could be seen as a subversion of the traditional noir femme fatale but not in the way it first seems. Although Vicki is ultimately unable to corrupt Jeff and bend him to her will, that’s not really the story here. Ford’s character is able to walk away from the usual film noir spiral of self destruction, but Vicki is not. The truth is the subversion is that Vicki is the real protagonist. This is her story and like most noir protagonists it is the story of her bringing about her own undoing. The movie also has a sub plot involving good gal Jean and her crush on Jeff, but this side is far less interesting than trying to figure Vicki out.

Everyone Has A Dark Side

Despite all this talk of intensity it’s worth noting that Human Desire is actually a heavily toned down adaptation of “La Bête humaine”. In the novel (Spoilers!), pretty much everyone is a murderer and pretty much everyone ends up dying. A more accurate version would have had Jeff as a psychopath rapist and even sweet innocent Jean turning into a mass murderer by orchestrating a train disaster. It’s safe to say the Hay’s code wouldn’t have any of that. So instead Jeff and Jean and basically good. Vicki on the other hand is probably more innocent in the novel. These changes are dramatic, but it is a very loose adaptation and it does work better than a more direct approach probably would have.

Story aside, the film features great cinematography showing off the railroad in the 1950’s. This makes the movie a bit of a time capsule allowing us to glance into days gone. It should be mentioned none of this really adds much to the movie and with the rail disaster removed from the story the trains only really factor in to the story as the location of the initial murder. Still, there is nothing wrong with a scenic backdrop. Overall, this is a fairly straight forward noir ont he surface with a few surprises up it’s sleeves and great performances from the two leads, especially Grahme. Not one of Lang’s best, but a very solid outing none the less. This is a solid 6.5/10. If you like Lang or either of the leads, you’ll enjoy it.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.